Basically everything I needed to know in life I learned in Kindergarten.
It’s really true. And I am not just talking about colors, counting and performing in the christmas music recital. I am talking about the grown up people stuff. The stuff that makes you who you are.. the bread and butter if you will. So I think it’s time to lighten up this little blog here and go back to the basics… the things that make me… well me! The beautiful sunset with a splash of hurricane. I may have to slightly modify “sunset” with small tsunami … just temporarily …. and if we are really being honest it may be best to add in treacherous downpour… what can I say … this Idaho girl has a bit of attack cat running through her veins.
Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There will be many opportunities to touch on my attack cat side… guaranteed to entertain and certainly make you feel better about yourself. But today we are thinking happy thoughts. And what wouldn’t make you happier than a day down memory lane, back in time to 1987 to a lovely little town in Western Idaho called Payette. Now I am not going to toot my own horn … but if we are being honest I was the real deal people. I was pretty dang cool even if I do say so myself… and I do! LOL But who wouldn’t be if they had purple MC Hammer Pants… the poofiest, tallest bangs in town (thanks to my mom’s mad skills) packed with more volume and hairspray then an LA Looks hair spray commercial. It was good… it was all good.
Anyways back to the story (ramble)… Focus Kels…. you can do this. Back to why I learned all I needed to know in good old ’87.
REASON 1. I learned how to read. And there was this great assumption that if you knew how to read well, you were smart. And my reading skills were on par so that little “myth” really worked in my favor. Side bar: Since I have become a grown up great reading skills aren’t such a strong seller so I have slowly integrated amazing story telling skills to keep the illusion alive. When all else fails use abrupt subject changes especially when it’s about geography and you aren’t even sure of the continent in question let alone the country. 😉
REASON 2. FLIPPING YOUR CARD…. Flipping your card was the ultimate punishment. Your misbehavior was on display for the entire world to see…. at least the 22 kids who were all in Mrs. Uphoffs morning class. The FLIP was the real deal people. It was absolutely devastating. We all started on Green… green was good… yellow was imposed when you needed a WARNING…. red was no joke… you lost a recess and got a letter home that was sure to get you spanked (at least in the good old days). The punishment in 2016 would result in loss of the stupid Ipad… and for my little guy losing “screen time” is closely related to death by fire. He gets the shakes when he loses the privilege of staring at a screen in the world of apps.
Agh… I did it again. FOCUS… you were almost there! Back to me and the “Card flipping procedure.” I usually averaged 2.43 times a year. And with every flip it never got any easier. They were all legit except the time Rob Morishita bit his arm and said it was me in the 1sr grade. Mrs. Heater didn’t even listen to my pleas of innocents. But I still swear I didn’t do it.
Looking back it was genius. It stung a bit… and messing up does. But that is life… I mess up all the time. We all need a subtle reminder (flipping our card) to be better and try harder.
REASON 3. THE CHRISTMAS CONCERT. Life lesson 101… just because you enjoy something doesn’t mean you’re good at it. I loved to sing…. and Oh did I…. I belted out Jingle Belles with the best of them. Raised my hand to be in the “Special Musical Number” and wasn’t picked. And I wasn’t picked because I wasn’t good. I learned that we all have some natural born God Given Gifts…. with hard work and dedication other gifts can come… but some are just hopeless. Me and singing…. hopeless…. but that’s OK! We all have something different to offer and the key to a happy life is learning to give and take… help and be help.
REASON 4: All good things must come to an end. Kindergarten was pretty much the best grade ever. I only had to go to school 1/2 the day but I got to reap the benefits of back to school shopping, new school shoes and I finally got the box of 24 crayons when the list only called for 8. What can I say…. if 8 is good 24 is sure to be better.
REASON 5: THE LINE LEADER: We all had class assignments. I quickly learned that some roles were more important than others. For example… everyone wanted to be the line leader. It had it’s definite perks. You lead the class to their destination, got to hold the door for your fellow classmates and everyone knew you were important. Another sought after spot was the caboose… this was also no joke… it was your sole responsibility to make sure that everyone got to your destination safely. There were several other jobs that offered similar notoriety but these jobs were in high demand … the rotation only came around once every couple weeks at best.
So what did I do… made up my own position and no one ever wanted it. I was the self appointed chair straightener… yea, you heard me correctly. I don’t need to repeat it. When all of the class scuttled to get in line the chairs were a mess. So me… I quietly (and if I may add perfectly) straightened the chairs. It may not seem like a big deal.. and it wasn’t… it took no time at all. But don’t be fooled…. the teacher always noticed. Over time I would add more responsibilities to my newly self appointed position like “human vacuum cleaner”…. also self explanatory. These small acts were greatly appreciated and over time I would receive the greatest promotion of them all…. “The Teacher’s Pet”. The title everyone secretly wanted and could never get because I had begun securing it long before they even knew it was up for grabs.
REASON 6: THE BOY: I know crushes come and go, cute boys are a dime a dozen but every once in awhile someone comes into your life and you just know they will be your forever… your happily ever after if you will. My boy just happened to find me before I even knew how to write my name in cursive. Now please don’t think that I began dating him at the ripe old age of 5… although that would be kinda the cutest love story ever…. and ever… and ever… but that’s just not the case… we didn’t fall in love until the 2nd grade when we were in Mrs. Reagan’s class together. He was just what I was looking for… he was super cute, had great hair (thanks to the fabulous perm his mom gave him). Tyler was super fast… and nobody could jump higher on the trampoline than he could. He was the ultimate catch…. I must be a pretty good fisher because I hooked my crush in elementary school and never let him go. Sure there were a few small bumps in the road like when I turned him into the teacher for writing me a love note and he had to sit on the tires instead of go to recess. Or the time he didn’t speak to me for a week because me and my friends toilet papered his house for the 9th time that year. But after he learned how to deal with my spice, sas, crazy wild, happy go lucky self he put a ring on my finger and made me the happiest girl in the world.
So it’s true… Kindergarten taught me how to be better, be real with myself and others, try harder, put in the time to get the prize, and that a box of 72 crayons is really a need and not a want.
Ps. You’re so vain you probably think this song is about you….. 😉
Full Disclosure: I rarely use exclamation marks … you know the ones… !!! … I guess I just figure that in real life I talk so loud and animated that my peps know that I am surely typing with the same enthusiasm… and it isn’t as accessible as the period …. ahhh…. yes the period… I sorta love that one! 🙂 I have absolutely no idea if Payette is in Western Idaho… but like many things in my life if it sounds good I just go with it. After all I can guarantee that anyone who knows me would not use my blog as a resource to anything that mattered anyways. At least I am consistent people. 😉 Again… no idea if I was in kindergarten in 1987… it felt good so I went with it. Seeing a pattern here? Carter’s school supply list called for 24 crayons last year so I sent 72 (every kid needs the built in sharpener and it’s only offered on the 72 pack). His teacher sent them home telling him it was too many…. hmmmm…… so what did I do…. sent him with 48. Who am I to limit someone’s coloring potential. We all know they only start offering the good colors when you get into the box of 48. … and we made sure to use the 72 box for all homework assignments. Ty hated his flashback pictures…. I tried to explain the mullet is coming back with a vengeance…. but he wasn’t having it.
Full Definition: Attack Cat: Someone who has the ability to be cute and cuddly and appear innocent in nature until without any warning rage and frustration overtakes their entire body and they lash out on innocent (or not so innocent) victims with their sharp claws and fang like teeth. After said attack is complete cute adorable kitty turns back into her loving kind hearted self only to attack again when necessary. Side note…. I really do have one fangtooth…. the tooth fairy must have been getting back at me for not brushing good enough.