So here I sit in at the dining room table that I sat at as a young girl. I am in the same seat I had once marked as “mine” and it was mine. I was so territorial of it. All of the chairs are identical… it’s the position that made this spot such a prime piece of real estate. It was special…it was located right but the door so I could make a fast getaway and quietly disappear from our family dinner with no trace. This spot was a real keeper. It was also the closest to the front door so I was a sure bet to beat the rest of the siblings if a visitor happened to call upon us and knock at the door. The bonus… it was a straight shot to the bathroom so if Grandma’s cheese casserole was missing some key ingredient or the freezer burn was too much to bare I could shovel “said” inedible food in my cheeks, offer a couple sniffles and dart down the hall to empty the remains into the garbage can with no questions asked. Please keep in mind I did offer some special effects and did a loud nose blow so my swift escape wasn’t ever in question. (I was also forced to do this when my mom added bacon or celery to things…. I have been telling her for years I am allergic to them). So here I sit… reminiscing in my own memories….
A lot has changed since the last time I sat in this chair. The kids have grown up… friends have divorced and siblings have moved to bigger homes. New vehicles surround me that I have never seen and the cereal is not in the same spot. Baby announcements are sent in the mail and not told over lunch…. life never stopped when I left. I have left and Idaho has continued to change.
I don’t miss things. I miss people, distinct smells and nothing moments that were not big but now seem gigantic. I miss lost connections with really good friends. I miss walking in the soft green grass and the smell of the apple blossoms on the trees. I miss hearing Carter in my parents back yard playing with his cousins (when you’re an only child your cousins are your siblings and your best friends are your very very best friends). The more I am here… the more I know I made the HARD but right choice to make Georgia my home. I would have never known what I was made of. My support system was a pillar of strength and as a result I never really had to stand on my own.
I had to loose myself to find myself. Things that once seemed so important don’t even exist. People say I have changed. I don’t see it… but they don’t see me in my new world. It just fits… it’s simple… it consists of me and my amazing perfect Boys. The fast lane has flown by and and I didn’t even wave it goodbye. I get to do the things that make me… well me! Georgia showed me I am grown up. Georgia showed me that I can be Carter’s mom and I don’t need a second opinion for my every move. Georgia showed me that I am not the same 18 year old who didn’t have a care in the world.
Silly things When I come home to Idaho I think about and dearly miss. I think about the things that I used to do (family football games in the backyard, hearing all the cousins laugh and play in the backyard)… I think about the things I wish I would have done more of (sister time)… and things that I didn’t even remember doing but now wish I did. I miss laying on the floor outside my mom’s bathroom door and talking to her while she got ready for the day. Too many things to list….making lists of things I do not get to do is something I have and will never do. Why… why waste time with the “not’s” when I can focus on the “not today but maybe tomorow list.”
So I can tell you this.. I am a mind over matter girl. So I am not home sick… but I do miss home. I long to lay by a family member when they are sick. I wish I could be there for a friend when they just need a hug. I wish I could be the daughter, sister and friend that I should have been when I lived there. I wish every time I saw my neices and nephews they didn’t look so big. I would kill to have them look the same because I just saw them the day before. I long to say “how was your day” instead of “what’s new in your life”? But the past is the past. I can control the future and enjoy the present as if it is a gift. And it is a gift. I look around me and I am blessed with some of the most amazing precious friendships I could have ever imagined. I have been given the gift of amazing friends who have opened their hearts and life to me. Georgia is great. I love the golf carts, huge yards and fun sites but it’s home because of the amazing people who added the Lyon’s Den to their lives. I am blessed with the ability to just love my family for the right reasons and not get too involved in their lives. I am blessed with the knowledge to know that no matter how many miles separate me from my people, my family I am still in their hearts and my love for them will never dwindle. Life’s
a journey and living it is a blessing.
So raise your glasses. Here’s to the most amazing people who live in 30269 and the other most amazing people who live 2,334 miles away…. but who’s counting. Cheers to a new day and loving each and every person who God puts in our path. The people who make us better, the people who know us and still love us anyway, the people who challenge us…. and the ones who are just there. Cheers! Seize the day.
The Take Away- Life is good. If you love someone… tell them. You will never regret it.
FULL DISCLOSURE- Going back is good… but kinda a little too hard.